Changing What We Pray For

"Keep praying and listening for God's response."

 Liz D. from Los Angeles shares what she went through to find her calling, the examples she had in her life and how prayer helped her find her path.

 

 

 

Three years ago a friend shared with me that he’d decided to apply to law school.  This surprised me because he’s one of the most talented writers I know, and he had a great, albeit not well-paying job writing for an online music site.  However, he was approaching the age of thirty, had begun thinking about marriage and kids, and was feeling pressure to be in a position where he could earn more money.  LSAT prep classes were soon underway.

Even though I ultimately supported him in his decision, I couldn’t help but tell him that I couldn’t see him working in some corporate firm.  Then again, maybe being an honest and ethical lawyer is where he’ll truly shine, and, well, being a lawyer does require lots of writing.

Our conversation got me thinking about how one of the great difficulties of our modern age is discovering and following our true calling, particularly when materialistic motivations, as well as gender and cultural expectations, obscure what is ultimately a spiritual concept. 

Like you, I’ve been asked from a young age, “What are you going to be when you grow up?”  After four years of college, I didn’t have a clear answer, even as I felt immense pressure to have a socially impressive response.  I knew I didn’t want to go the route many other graduates were taking: accept whatever job offer threw the most money and perks in my direction, or else go to law school because I didn’t know what else I wanted to do with myself.

After graduating from college I went to China on a Year of Service.  99% of me was genuinely motivated by wanting to be of service.  The other one percent, OK, maybe more than one percent, was hoping God would magically reveal what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. If work is worship and, as Bahá'u'lláh says, "The best of men are they that earn a livelihood by their calling,” well, what in the world was my calling?  How was I supposed to be worshipping?

Oddly enough, I felt like being a woman gave me more freedom to follow my calling.  If a young man rings his father up and says that instead of being an investment banker he believes his true calling is teaching, his father might approve. But, given the way materialism and gender inequality weave their sticky webs, his father is more likely to say that teaching is only a job for women and it doesn’t earn enough to support a family.

My parents didn’t mandate a career for me.  I’m lucky in that regard. A couple of friends of mine are doctors, not because they had a love for healing the sick, but because every other person in their family is a doctor and they’d been told from a very young age, “You will be a doctor!”, sometimes with threats of disownment or disinheritance attached to the command.  Those friends obediently went to medical school instead of getting into advertising or museum curating.

I always look at my father as an example of someone who has seen following his calling and supporting his family as spiritually going hand in hand.  He rejected law school in favor of becoming a jazz musician.  On top of performing, he taught music in the public school system.  Now he’s moved on to directing a jazz studies program at a major university.  He’s always done what he loves, and it all revolves around jazz. 

However, as much as I admire my dad, it wasn’t till my brother suddenly died a few years ago that I began to really think about my calling. My brother’s death made me realize that life really is too short to spend it doing something you don’t love.

When I reflect on why finding my calling has been challenging, I know it’s because I never asked God to make my path clear or protect me from making career decisions based on ego, status and money.  I only ever prayed to God to help me find another job that paid more.  And my prayers got answered, except then the new job usually required me to work long hours that were detrimental to both my health and my family life. 

I’ve felt a compulsion to write ever since I was a child crafting stories for my parents.  At every job I’ve ever had, I’ve always been the go-to-gal if someone needed a report, resume, cover letter or brochure written.   

I began actively praying for guidance around whether or not writing is my calling.  Two days after I decided to pray about it, I received an email that led to my first freelance writing job.  Eventually I said goodbye to my 60-80 work weeks and hello to writing from home and spending more time with my family. . 

It’s been three years since I embraced earning my livelihood through writing. I feel less like a drone from Metropolis and more professionally motivated and spiritually alive than ever. Lesson learned:  Keep praying and listening for God’s response. 

 

 

Comments

[Tatiana Zamir]

Thank you Liz! This topic has been heavily on my mind and I found your article to be very helpful! Prayer has definitely been guiding me on my path.

[Lo Crosby]

Thanks for sharing. You may be on to something. I feel I'm much too old not to know what my "calling" is so I will try praying for guidance until the answer comes...

[Atoosa]

I liked your web log so I looked for more writings from you. due to ambiguity in your name abbreviation I was not successful. I will be grateful if you send your complete name or the name of some of your books.

[Elly]

Really awesome! plus a gentle, flowing read...obviously well writen by a TRUE writer! Nice to see your face, Liz!
~Elly in Santa Monica

[Julie]

Liz, this is seriously one of the best articles I have ever read. Kudos to you for your courage and true sense of spirituality! I totally agree that our unique purpose and calling in this world is what will bring us the most joy and be of the most service to humanity. Thanks so much for sharing these powerful insights!