Finding One's Way

"I meant for it to be temporary...but..."

Parisa Fitz-Henley Ighani is a model, actress and a Baha'i. Here she shares her path towards understanding and navigating what she believes her calling to be with what she feels is expected of her, as a Baha'i and as a human being.

Baha’is are striving to create unity in diversity. What seems key to this is embracing the fact that although we are different, we were all created by God and therefore all have a place. We all have something to contribute.

Some of the contributions we make regarding our professions are obviously prized. We see in the Baha'i Writings the emphasis placed on educating children, healing the sick, and protecting the defenseless, and we know that jobs related to these things are the “right thing” to do. So, many of us become teachers and doctors and lawyers. But what if we’ve been called to do something a little different for a living? What if, after earnest prayer and meditation, after one’s friends have gone off to immunize villages, after one’s parents have promised to pay for engineering school – unless law school comes through - a person is guided to become… a clown?

I have wrestled with this, myself. Well, not with becoming a clown – although I did end up wearing lots of makeup and looking funny sometimes. I chose to skip college and go straight from high school graduation to modeling. Literally. Like, that night. 

When I started modeling, I meant for it to be temporary. It was an unexpected opportunity that felt right for me to take. I figured I would do a few years of the flashbulbs and then go back to my plan of teaching, like my parents, but I found that I liked the job. Modeling had its drawbacks but the money was good, the schedule was flexible, and I could discuss spiritual matters with great people while traveling. Still, despite the perks, when asked what I did for a living I would either answer in a
whisper or state that I worked as a model. As if it were an act. I didn’t want to be known as the chick with the pointless job while people were starving in China.

I questioned myself repeatedly. Why did I feel like I needed to apologize for my work? My knee-jerk answer was always the thought that, according to the Baha'i writings, Baha’u’llah “discourages the study of such sciences as are unprofitable to men", and "begin with words and end with words." I would panic. Oh God! I don’t even have WORDS in my job! But modeling still felt like what I was being called to do, even if it didn’t seem like what I thought a calling should be.

After several years in the fashion industry, a coincidence brought me an opportunity to act in a film and I was hooked. I felt strongly that I should shift my focus to acting and I spent several years training and working in that field. Though I was presented with many opportunities to be of service to my community because of my profession, I was again doing a job I knew some people saw as frivolous and worldly.

I really wanted to live a praiseworthy life, but I was being called to do work that challenged my idea of what was praiseworthy. Sure, I was serving, teaching, giving to the Baha'i Funds. But I most certainly was not contributing to the betterment of the world. Or was I?

I found that I had overlooked some other things in the Baha'i writings regarding work. That, “[Baha’u’llah] commends the wealth acquired through crafts and professions,” and “considers 'arts, crafts and sciences' to be conducive to the exaltation of the world of being.” So I wasn’t out painting masterpieces or curing cancer, but I was certainly involved in the arts. Plus, I was striving to do my work “in the spirit of service” – an act that, when done successfully, Abdu’l-Baha has called the “highest form of worship.”

I started to realize that my callings – and I do believe that we are sometimes called to several things in a lifetime – were praiseworthy because they were mine. They were God’s way of helping me learn, grow, and contribute to the world in my own unique way. I realized that if everyone in the world did the same few jobs, no matter how esteemed, that we would live in a world without diversity. Even worse, we would have a world in which a huge number of people would be living a lie. “Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues.” If God tells you to become a premier circus performer, what good does it do anyone if you lie to yourself and those who might judge you so you can become a physician whose heart is under the Big Top?

The thing is, in our community’s young stage of development, and in our desire to live exemplary lives, we sometimes forget that though work is praiseworthy, we do not become great just because we do it, or do certain kinds of work. The best of us are not those who go to school the longest or have the most letters behind their names. They are those who “earn a livelihood by their calling” and spend it on “themselves and their loved ones for the love of God…”

This means that if your brother is a neurosurgeon and you are a housekeeper, there is no difference in your worth. And if I am a model and you are a structural engineer, we can both make important contributions to the world in our own ways.

When we accept the idea that real diversity is not just about race or ethnicity, but about each person being embraced for exactly who God meant them to be then our communities will not just be places where children are taught, laws are defended, and the ailing are healed. They will be places that are sparkling clean, and creative, and filled with laughter.

So, send in the doctors, the lawyers, and engineers. But please don’t forget the clowns.

Comments

[Shirin]

Parisa,
Thank you so much for posting this. As a woman who almost had a modeling career but ended up choosing a career in science this story resonated very deeply with me. Actually, the first thing I thought of when I saw your photo was how cool it was that your modeling is promoting diversity and the inherent beauty of interracial/mixed individuals. It is so sad that art has been so undervalued by society when it is so often mentioned side by side with the sciences in the Writings with equal importance. Thank you for showing that you can serve mankind in these beautiful art forms: drama and modeling. Much love!

[Kristine Asuncion]

Dear Parisa,
Met your parents when they were first married, and so admired them! Your article is wonderfully inspiring especially where you mention that we can go through stages of transformation in careers as well as in life. Please continue to share here and shine as a role model! Of course, there is always writing as a future vocation! :o)
Warmest love from Haifa

[Ruth Ann Newton-Lightbourne]

Hey Parisa,
Ruth Ann from the Bahamas .... Loved the article, I can soo relate, as I now am apart of a Health and Wellness business but before I didn't know how to tell people well I am part owner of a boutique ... but I always kept "Service is the Highest form of Praise" near and dear to my heart ... Well keep it up Girl! Love ya Ruth Ann

[Rafael Antonio]

This is one of the best articles I've ever read. Truly wonderful, insightful and entertaining. Kudos to you Prisa. I will pass this article along to a Bahá'i friend who actually clowns around making a living as a mime/clown (Roland). You've made me feel better about my job as a ladies shoe salesman. I love that I make women happy.

[Deshon Fox]

Hi Parisa,

We met at the Caribbean Initiative training in Trinidad about two years ago. You may recall. It was really wonderful to meet you and all of the other young Bahai teachers...Thank you for writing a heartfelt and inspiring article. I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments.

Deshon Fox (Bahamas)

[Nina Dashti-Gibson]

Hi Parisa,

I was at the 2011 junior youth week at Green Acre. Thank you so much for everything you did for us. I'm really impressed that you didn't tell us who you were but now it makes sense that you were so good at the acting portion of the council of all beings! I find it really cool that you can balance being a model/actress and a baha'i. This is a really great article by the way :)

[Tatiana Zamir]

Parisa I LOVE this article!! It is so inspirational and exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you!!

[D]

Hi Parisa,
I knew your Dad (and miss him terribly) and Mom from the time they met in St. Pete. Your struggles, growth and insights are amazing!

I have also struggled with my profession, as it too does not appear to be a "direct service" profession, like being a health provider, or teacher, or social worker.

To read your story makes me feel much better about what I do and how I participate in the overall growth and diversity of the world.

Thanks so much!

D

[Julie]

Parisa, thank you so much for sharing these profound and sincere insights. As a woman who holds gender equality near and dear to her heart, I also see that you are furthering this vital principle through your work as a model, by being the woman God created you to be. Thank you for your courage and dedication to authenticity. This is true service to humanity.