Material Encounters
How Your Marriage Can Help Create Change in the World

Marriage is a lot of things. It’s fun, adventurous, trying, even hard work. How many of us think of it as a path towards global and personal salvation? Husayn A. didn’t till he went to the Source – Baha’u’llah – Who described marriage as a “fortress for well-being and salvation.”* Having grown up in a Baha'i family he’d often heard the first part of that phrase, "fortress for well-being...," but not so much about the second. Here he shares some thoughts on the possibilities for salvation in marriage and family life.

Even though I’ve been married for nearly eight years and am far from an expert on the issue, there are two elements of marriage and family life that stand out to me as opportunities for salvation that are worth exploring.

One crucial element of salvation through marriage has to do ultimately with the purpose of life in the Baha'i view – spiritual advancement towards a clearer understanding of God and our own selves. To assist us in this process, Baha’u’llah created the “law of marriage,” to obey “as an assistance to yourselves.”* Regarding such laws the Universal House of Justice has written that, “In considering the effect of obedience to the laws on individual lives, one must remember that the purpose of this life is to prepare the soul for the next. Life in this world is a succession of tests and achievements, of falling short and of making new spiritual advances. Sometimes the course may seem very hard, but one can witness, again and again, that the soul who steadfastly obeys the Law of Baha’u’llah, however hard it may seem, grows spiritually…. ”** By its nature, marriage can offer you the opportunity to be with someone with whom you can fall short and make spiritual advances, ideally within a harmonious and unified atmosphere. The opportunities for personal salvation, then, are presented daily. Interestingly, this intensely personal process of our own spiritual development, in which our spouse is our partner and champion, is directly tied to the growth of the Faith.

The second element of salvation is intimately bound up with one’s individual spiritual growth, yet has such ramifications on the whole world that it essentially erases the distinction between private and public, individual and collective. Let’s start with the big stuff – the growth and consolidation of the Baha’i community. Shoghi Effendi wrote that, “One thing and only one thing will unfailingly and alone secure the undoubted triumph of this sacred Cause, namely, the extent to which our own inner life and private character mirror forth in their manifold aspects the splendor of those eternal principles proclaimed by Baha’u’llah.”*** In so far as one’s marriage affects one’s spiritual growth that marriage can contribute to the unfoldment and spread of what Baha’is believe to be God’s Message to humanity of oneness and everlasting peace. Yeah. That’s a lot to take in. But let’s think for a minute about how this truth plays out.

‘Abdu’l-Bahá said that a “family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation.”**** A unified, harmonious family constantly engaged in service to humanity can create that reality in the nation. A family actively engaged in the Five Year Plan means a Baha’i community constantly engaged in the Five Year Plan, and vice-versa. Parents that encourage a spiritual sensibility in their children regarding money and material things, and who encourage this sensibility in each other, will create a nation with such sensibilities and a Baha’i community that effortlessly, yet sacrificially, contributes to the Baha’i Funds. Gandhi’s oft quoted statement that you must be the change you seek is, truly, a fundamental element of marriage and family life.

Trying to live this understanding of marriage and family life in my own life is, admittedly, difficult. There aren’t many models of this, either in my life or in my larger culture. This kind of approach to marriage isn’t something you’ll see in a sitcom or a romantic comedy. And while this way of thinking about marriage doesn’t fit the romantic notion of marriage, it is a way that we can help change the world every day. The choice is up to us.

*Baha'u'llah, Baha'i Prayers, p. 105

**The Universal House of Justice, Letter to All National Spiritual Assemblies, February 6, 1973

***Shoghi Effendi, Baha'i Administration, p. 66

****The Promulgation of Universal Peace, p. 157

Comments

[Vijay]

Dear FUNDamentals,

Thank you for helping me in this area of practicing the teachings in my personal life. Coming from an eastern culture (majority of it from my family background) it was very natural to contribute to the faith by serving in various capacities. In the past friends/elders have hinted at me to look for a spouse if opportunity presents. Then, either I resented due to various reasons. All I wanted to meet was a partner who understands and at the same time values the service as an essential part of family life (along with spiritual values about raising kids, etc).

The quote from ‘Abdu’l-Bahá which says “family is a nation in miniature...." is an amazing quote. It is helping me guide and give me a spiritual compass in my personal life. Thank you very much for sharing, it did hit the right spot in my investigation of truth.

[Noshene]

What a fabulous article! It reminds me of Baha'u'llah's quote "Let your vision be world-embracing, rather than confined to your own selves...." Thank you.

[Jen CD]

Thank you for this, it really came at a good time, and spoke to me....

[heidi]

I offer an additional part for this sentence.

"And while this way of thinking about marriage doesn't fit the romantic notion of marriage..." it can definitely create strong and truly romantic marriages and "it is a way that we can help change the world every day.

I love how this article puts it all together and shows me again the potential we have as a couple and as a family for true service.